Thieves steal $6 million toilet…royal flush?
Here it is, the crime overshadowing the 1963 British Great Train Robbery. And even more devious than the theft of Dorothy’s ruby slippers. I am talking about the crime of the century, namely the heist of the $6-million golden toilet from Blenheim Palace in the Oxford, England area. The trial of several accused started a few days ago. And I’ll get to the banana connection shortly.
In September 2019, a handful of men broke into Blenheim Palace, the birthplace of Sir Winston Churchill, now a UNESCO heritage site and a museum. In five minutes they made off with a golden and functional toilet. They were eventually nabbed.
However, the toilet vanished and was never recovered. Alas! At least there were no Canadians aboard.
I hear the presiding judge cautioned all present in the courtroom if they had to laugh, they should get it over with in 60 seconds and do so after the count of three. Several people present were charged with contempt of court.
Defence counsel during jury selection asked potential jurors whether they were in any way related to Sir Winston Churchill. One gentleman was rejected after flashing a V sign.
Interestingly, one of the accused, a fence, is called Doe. I suppose If he gets convicted, he won’t worry too much about his name getting sullied. Instant anonymity.
The Crown’s case is quite solid. There is a surveillance video showing these boys at work, including one of them running around the parking lot carrying the toilet seat. They got him red-handed, or should I say, gold-handed. I do suppose he could argue he was just a plumber making an after-hours house call. Then again, if he does that, given his likely bill, this in itself would also constitute a crime. Highway robbery.
No doubt whoever does get convicted will face a stiff prison sentence as the judge will likely emphasize the principle of general deterrence. I say one potty pilfer is one too many. I did ask Siri if there were other cases of toilet thefts and she replied, “Let me check it out. Meanwhile, have a seat.” No thanx.
Of interest is that this privy was previously on display at the Guggenheim Museum in New York. It was created as a satiric installation by the artist Maurizio Cattelan. He called it America.
Now for the banana connection, as promised. He is also the artist who came up with that recent installation of a banana duct-taped to a canvas, which sold for about US$6.2 million dollars.
This guy’s work does not come cheap.
As a bizarre twist to this story, President Trump previously asked to borrow a van Gogh painting from The Guggenheim and instead they offered him the toilet. He declined the offer. I guess he missed an opportunity to make America great again. Then again, what could he have done with it?
I don‘t know whether or not the infamous toilet will ever be found. But given that it’s functional, it certainly adds a new dimension to the expression, “All that glitters is not gold.”