First, let’s kill all the lawyer jokes
Shakespeare did not quite word it this way, but enough about Shakespeare. I’m a retired lawyer who is also a humourist. This combination has lead to me to be accused of being an oxymoron.
Over the years I have written numerous articles and published two books. One is entitled Birth, Death and Other Trivialities: A Humorous Philosophical Look at the Human Condition. The second and most recent is Poutine on the Orient Express: An Irreverent Look at Travel, which I’m unapologetically promoting here.
So, what the heck is this website for? One, hopefully there are parts that will make you laugh. Two, maybe you’ll buy one or both of my books. Bless you. Three, you might ask me to come out and speak at your event.
Like comedian Henny Youngman once said, “Live your life like a fried egg- sunny side up!”
Hey, let’s get serious.
This is a humour site.
What am I good for?
Poutine on the Orient Express: An Irreverent Look at Travel
Guaranteed not to get your curds in your whey.
Hire me to speak at your next event
I will both inform and entertain you, at a much lesser cost than a lawyer (fine print disclaimer to follow somewhere)
(Disclaimer: Picture only an approximation of me at a recent event.)
Marcel’s Deep Thoughts
I get the feeling if this guy convicts you of speeding, he sentences you to Australia!
Here’s a small sample of some of the classical pieces that appeared in The Globe and Mail, Toronto Star and other fine publications resulting in a wave of uncontrollable hilarity:
- Cash me if you can– All about the joys of trying to break a $100 bill at a bank that has neither tellers nor cash. (Globe and Mail) pdf
- It’s nothing personal, Lot 6 A story about buying a house in a subdivision where the builder calls all the purchasers not by their names, but by their house lot number. (Toronto Star)
- A mouse, a trap and me– A discussion about mediating with your wife and daughter as to how to get rid of a mouse, humanely and to their complete satisfaction. (Globe and Mail) pdf
- Lawyers, judges and fishermen– Court reform…if it ain’t broke, it ain’t broke. American Bar Association Journal ( ABA JOURNAL)
- Everything you wanted to know about cross examination; don’t ask. American Bar Association Journal ( ABA JOURNAL)
- Send in the clients, and when to send them packing American Bar Association Journal ( ABA JOURNAL)
- Everything you wanted to know about honesty and deception…that’s the truth. American Bar Association Journal ( ABA JOURNAL)
- Juries- treat or trick? – why juries scare me. American Bar Association Journal ( ABA JOURNAL)
- Send in the juries– Jury duty during the pandemic..everybody’s fantasy (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- The new normal shul– or how covid-19 has changed the synagogues..ie where is the herring? (Canadian Jewish Record)
- It’s a real nowhere plan– Airlines launching flights to “Nowhere”; all aboard? (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- Your dog will walk– All about Germany’s proposed mandatory dog walking law (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- BigLaw vs SmallLaw– Does (firm) size matter? American Bar Association Journal ( ABA JOURNAL)
- BigLaw SmallLaw big difference – Canadian version (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- Welcome to the Karen protection program– how your name can mess up your destiny (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- Oyez, Oyez, Oy Vey! -guidelines to reopen courts during pandemic? (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- The chair of the bored– or why would anybody toss a chair off a 45th balcony onto an expressway (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- If I could talk with the animals– all about the rights of animals; bulls, coyotes and Lucy (the elephant), oh my!. (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- Judicial simplicity? -Can judges find the balance between being clear and sounding like lawyers? (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- Humour or humor? Lincoln and Churchill had it right either way (The Lawyer’s Daily)
- Let my pupil go-kids bringing a court application to re-open schools now (The Lawyer’s Daily)
- Who was that unmasked woman?– a story about COVID-19 supermarket madness (The Lawyer’s Daily)
- League of Heroes, revisited– COVID-19 has created new heroes on the block- (The Lawyer’s Daily)
- Tips on dealing with Justice Sudoku during COVID-19– it’s all small stuff now…almost all (The Lawyer’s Daily)
- Dancing with the “Demons”– These irritants used to stress us in the good old days, ie pre 2020-.American Bar Association Journal ( ABA JOURNAL)
- Career change lawyers? Become an Oscar Mayer wienermobile operator. (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- A lawyer’s personal take on making New Year’s resolutions that stick– American Bar Association Journal ( ABA JOURNAL)
- Fixing British Columbia’s time machine– B.C. is zoned out. (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- Cabbage litigation– How retired lawyers spend some of their time. (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- A legal career’s comic turn Can lawyers retire and become humourists? Actually, we are not retired; we are amused. (Just Magazine-Ontario Bar Association)
- The crying judge: Compassion does not equal bias All about judges with hearts. (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- Judge in Jeopardy- No good deed goes unpunished. The dangers of a kind judge going the extra kilometre (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- “Are you retired yet?” was the most common question people would ask me before I closed my law practice. The second most common question was, “When are you retiring?” ( INSPIRED 55+ lifestyle magazine)
- The good Samaritan meets Seinfeld– The Canadian Judicial Council goes after a super judge…a proceeding about nothing (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- The confessions of a legal technophobe– Some of us still use the telephone, pencils and stickie notes to communicate American Bar Association Journal ( ABA JOURNAL)
- Yes we have no insurance– Ontario government ponders how to fix joke motor vehicle insurance system. Suggestion: Send in the benefits. (The Lawyer’s Daily) Pdf
- Judging the judges:– with all due respect, of course- Can judges get nasty and difficult? (ABA JOURNAL)
- Your Honour: I tip my wig to you- More fun talking about judges (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- Lawyers, lattés and other delectables – how legal services are changing from conference room to…? (ABA JOURNAL)
- However you spell it, ‘humor’ or ‘humour’ is admissible in law practice-humour in the practice of law? seriously! (ABA Journal)
- Garbage wars: May the trash be with you– Is the Philippines going to war with Canada over trash Canada sent there and refuses to retrieve? (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- 7 reasons why the legal profession often gets no sympathy As Shakespeare said, let’s love all the lawyers? (ABA Journal)
- Of mice and mens rea All about mice, rats and the law (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- First, let’s love all the lawyers Major issue revisited (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- How a kindergarten squabble, Perry Mason, and a ruined dress lured this lawyer to the law (ABA Journal)
- Yikes, my kid is going to law school! What are your fears and trepidations? (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
- Toto, I have a feeling we’re in Iowa– How many times does a felon have to die in jail to end a life sentence? (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
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Humour in the practice of law: Seriously Seriously (The Lawyer’s Daily) pdf
The latest from my blogs:
Mooo, I’m happy
If you’re happy and you know it clap your hooves
What they say. Yes, really. I’m not joking here. They said this.
“Your speech was amusing, highly entertaining and at times thought-provoking. We especially appreciated that you tailored your material so that it was appropriate and interesting to [an] audience of judges and their spouses.”
Justice Russell Juriansz,
Court of Appeal for Ontario