So the Insight spacecraft has landed on Mars. Is this huge? I’m not sure. This is the 8th spacecraft to land on the red planet but I am actually totally disappointed as there is something drastically still missing. I ask, where are the Martians?

For nearly a half century I grew up with the impression that indeed there were Martians on Mars. This was not a totally unreasonable expectation. And we all knew exactly what these Martians looked like. We saw cartoons of these folks. They were always little men (never women). They were usually green and they had a couple of hoses coming out of their heads at the end of which were a couple of eyes. They spoke English quite well. We know this as the first thing they said to the earthlings was, “Take us to your leader.”

They even had a common mode of transportation: the flying saucer.

Unfortunately just like with Curiosity Rover, Insight has still not detected a trace of life on this planet. There was nobody to greet Insight, the contraption that looks like a giant winged insect, as it completed its gentle float down to the ground at a pace of about 12,300 miles per hour. It sent back some messages. But I doubt one of them was, “This does not look like Kansas, Toto.”

I recall back in grade 4 whenever I used to daydream, my teacher, Mr. Mackenzie, would say to me sarcastically, “Who are your thinking about, the man on Mars?” If he were to say it now I would be able to answer him eloquently and say, “Yeah right”.

The rug has been pulled out from under our feet. It would not have been so if at least some practical discoveries were made on Mars. I would have liked to see some of the following revelations:

What if Mars was the place to where all our missing items went? It would have made my day had Insight crept along on its adventures and suddenly I could say, “Hey, there’s my television remote.”

Or perhaps if it were not physical, then metaphysical revelations would have been well worth the billions spent. I would be ecstatic if the big bug would come across a sign reading, “Welcome. You have just found the meaning of life. Keep going 2 kilometres.”

Worth every penny.

The game would also have been worth the candle had the giant fly come across long sought secrets or mysteries. I would have been sold if I saw a notice reading, “Beware, Bermuda Triangle up ahead. Proceed with caution or you’ll end up in Fort Lauderdale.”

So far Insight, instead of finding our missing remotes or discovering the meaning of life or unravelling the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle, it will basically just sit there and listen. Once again as with other Mars missions, I doubt it will hear any Martian chatter. Maybe they are out there indeed. If so, chances are local authorities would not believe any comments made by one of its citizens who might be reporting the sighting of a UFO. “Yeah, a giant dragon fly. Right! Are you feeling OK Org?”

I guess these discoveries now have scientists in a perpetual state of orgasm. But to me this is all too clinically cold. would rather go back to my lifelong dreams and fantasies and imagine space creatures the way I have known them for decades and go on thinking that perhaps on another planet our fantasies will materialize. And if they do, do hope that some of these extra terrestrials will be women.

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