Animal law? Have we come a long way from Noah?
“If I could talk to the animals…” — Doctor Dolittle
This cat came back. I speak of Nub Tang, a Bangkok tabby. She strayed and was rescued and taken to a police station. Ms. Tang, however, got a bit feisty with the police officers, scratching and biting a few of them. One officer who loves animals, decided to have some fun, so he charged Nub Tang with assault. He actually took mug shots of the feline, as well. Fortunately her owner was soon located, and Nub Tang was released on her own recognizance. The cat made bail.
Of interest is that the police had the time and leisure to jest about the incident. This is commendable. Presumably, they were not distracted with some frivolous 911 calls about a crime nearby. I can just hear the staff sergeant responding, “Tell the bank we’ll send a unit out soon. We’re all out now looking for Purina.”
And speaking of banks, Nub Tang incidentally means “counting money” in Thai. This is certainly quite different from cat names such as Bella, Luna or Chloe.
The cat’s owner was lucky. The rampage could easily have been visited upon her. What if the cat had been a Cheshire cat? As the police are about to touch her, she vanishes, leaving only a large grin in the air. I can only imagine their reaction. My proficiency in the Thai language is not up to speed, so I can’t translate, “I tawt I taw a puddy tat.” The excited police would probably have charged the owner with some frightening provision of the Thai criminal code. There may even be a section reading something like, “S 481 (b)-Scaring a police officer with the use of a Cheshire cat grin is punishable by a fine not exceeding $5000.” Check it out.
Some animal owners try to take their animals anywhere under the guise of these creatures being service animals. A man in Philadelphia sought entry into a Phillies’ ball game with his “service” alligator, Wally. No doubt he assured security Wally was safe. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He would just lounge in the bleachers, peacefully nibbling on some peanuts and crackerjack. Unfortunately for the owner, he and Wally were turned back. I, for one, would not feel comfortable watching nine innings next to an alligator. For sure if a foul ball came flying near me, I would never attempt to beat Wally to it. I have two hands, and I want to keep it that way.
And how do the courts deal with animal liability cases? I’d say the law does not really matter much. It gets down to the human element.
For example, I once had a non-jury dog-bite trial. I opened with, “My client was delivering a pizza when suddenly the defendant’s dog, a Rhodesian ridgeback, lunged and bit him. Rhodesian ridgebacks were actually bred in Africa to hunt lions. They’re highly dangerous.”
The judge interjected, “Ahem. No, they’re not. My daughter has one and he’s as gentle as a lamb.” Uh oh! My confidence did a 180-degree turn. I suddenly wished I had opted for a trial by jury. At least there would have been a chance that one or two jurors once worked for Domino’s. We lost this case, His Honour finding no evidence of the dog’s predisposition to maul unsuspecting deliverers of pizza. Judicial bias? Perish the thought.
This discussion about animals brings Noah to mind. How in the world did he manage to gather and care for all those animals? No idea. Maybe his first mate was Doctor Dolittle.
Originally published in Law360-Lexis Nexis Canada
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