I notice occasionally insurance companies deny claims. For some inexplicable reason or other, they refuse to pay. I have a solution.
How about the establishment of an insurance company that would insure against denial of claims by other insurance companies. So if say your house gets ransacked and your house insurer denies the claim, you would turn to your insurer of insurance, call it say, “denial insurer” for relief.
It might work like this. The company would initially aggressively advertise this new product. An ad might read: “Do you really think you are in good hands with your insurance company?” Or, ” Just why does your insurance company call it ‘life insurance ‘? Will they pay if you are no longer alive? Call us at State Charm.”
Naturally you would have to fill out an application/questionnaire to assess risk, containing questions such as:
Part A
1. Have you ever had a claim denied by an insurance company? If yes, we don’t want to know the details. NOTE: Failure to make full disclosure may result in the insurer voiding the policy.
2. If your house ever brunt down, were you ever accused of arson?
3. If yes to #2, did you intend to burn down your house?
4. Does your current insurance company provide you with any unusual perks, such as mugs, pens or calendars?
5. Did you ever tell your life insurance company that you are immortal?
6. Do you intend to operate a driverless car?
7. Do you have any experience driving a car without a driver ‘s license? Alternatively do you have any experience driving a car in the Province of Quebec.
8 Do you have a high risk past time, such as a sky diving, scuba diving or food sampling at Costco?
In addition to the basic policy, you can apply for increased coverage denial insurance based on your fraud and misrepresentation.
If you wish to do so, complete Part B.
Part B
I am applying for supplementary coverage in the event that my insurance company denies my claim on the basis of fraud or misrepresentation. I certify that the following answers are accurate.
1. Are you honest ? Choose one.
a) yes. b) basically. c) don’t ask me any questions and I won’t tell you any lies.
2. Which of the following do you most admire:
a) Abraham Lincoln; b) Mahatma Gandhi; c) Bernie Madoff.
3. When providing information, does your nose ever grow?
4. What is the size of the largest fish you ever caught?
5. Would you rather pull : a) a door; b) a wagon; c) a Ponzi.
I further certify that when I am answering these questions my fingers are not crossed.”
So, do you think we’ll have a new insurance kid on the block? If you do, are you into denial?